How To Reinvent Yourself and Rewire Your Brain For Intimacy

fear of intimacyHow to reinvent yourself and rewire your brain for intimacy

 What answer would you give to this question? Just think of a time when you felt it was easy for you to rewire your brain for intimacy?
What images did you create?
What did you tell yourself?
Was there a word, music, or sound that would trigger your brain to be curious about how to expand the desire to get to know someone even more and feel close to them?
Although these are important steps to reach one of us there is one thing we need to remember.
This quality is unconditional acceptance of you and unconditional acceptance of the other.

Through acceptance, all pains will turn into freedom.

The well-known poet Rumi says that pain is the medicine to freedom.

If we feel pain, it means our heart is worthy of greater love.

When we fear letting others see who we truly are, we create a barrier, a false self to protect us from being rejected or compared to others. We conceal our vulnerable feelings by impersonating someone else because we fear loneliness, rejection, or being judged.

Fear of intimacy and philophobia

Philophobia is described as intense and irrational anxiety, coupled with persistent avoidance behaviors, regarding the forms of interpersonal relationships characterizing adult love, such as marriage or real friendly relationships.

Women may fear that they are not attractive anymore because they believe that they don’t look nice or think men will be disappointed when they do start a romantic monogamous relationship. Women also feel insecure because they are afraid of being hurt again or having their heart broken again.

A woman can overcome her fear. Working on her core beliefs and her unconscious fears, she can be treated respectfully next time by a loving and caring partner who will deeply appreciate her in every beautiful curve of her body even if she gained some unwanted weight since their last breakup.

The way we perceive ourselves affects how intimate we can be with others.

What causes a fear of intimacy?

Rullo says that difficult life experiences, not something you are born with, often cause fear of intimacy.

Abuse or neglect from caregivers or close people in your life, a fear of being abandoned, or a fear of being controlled by others, for example, are all possible causes.

There are many ways to express intimacy avoidance, such as:

Problem 1:

We stay in our comfort zone and never challenge ourselves, thus don’t have to feel.

Problem 2:

We take on too many tasks but we always escape by keeping an emotional distance, even if working with people is required.


Running away from emotional experiences is often prioritized over working on personal growth which ultimately leads to what Rullo calls emotional inertia.

  1. NVC can assist you in identifying your emotional patterns and loving yourself unconditionally if this rings true for you.
  2. Using NLP, you can scramble your fears and start making new choices, thus expanding your ability to create mutually beneficial relationships in line with your needs and values.
  3. By using EFT, you can overcome your emotional blockages. I have developed a set of tools to assist women in recovering from their broken hearts.

I help clients discover the path to emotional healing, greater self-understanding, and fulfilling relationships. Are you ready to make positive changes in your life?

Contact me here to speak to me.

My motto is: "Every day do something to make your heart laugh". I help people get in touch with their "Meraki", a word that modern Greeks often use to describe "doing something with the soul, creativity or love". Meraki means putting "something of yourself". How do I do it? I connect heart to heart with people, through The Divine in a healing way. You can find me on FB,Linkedin,YouTube.