3 Steps to Grieving a Breakup Using Mindfulness
3 Steps to Grieving a Breakup Using Mindfulness
Grieving a break-up and coping with your emotions
Grief is an uncertain and demanding roller-coaster of emotions that are always there, flowing freely. In reality, they are not signs of being immature or a result of losing someone; rather they’re the way you find your balance again.
The first step in grieving a break-up is to let go of all this emotional rollercoaster going on inside you. (Clearing is the first step in our three-step Meraki way process or the 3 C process).
The second step would be conceiving a new reality where fear or loss can’t stand up against it anymore and lastly creating something bigger than grief for yourself – something so exhilarating that it helps integrate all stages (anger/bargaining/depression).
What’s more, the 3-step process is available to you 24/7, meaning that you can do it at any time in any place and you can use it each time you feel emotionally stuck or disempowered.
The 3-C-Process or the Meraki Way process helps you heal your heart
1. Clearing:
It is a first step towards letting go of all the emotions that are holding you back. It’s an essential step where you let go of your investment (grief) in the past so that you can move forward into a new reality.
In this step, it’s important to acknowledge and accept your feelings without trying to control them or change them. You have to accept whatever comes up from within – every thought and feeling. This is the way to let go of all the negative emotions that were blocking your path and preventing you from moving forward with life again.
2. Conceiving: The second step involves conceiving or imagining a new reality for yourself – one that doesn’t include grief anymore or at least not in its full form anymore. It involves creating a new vision for your life.
I have a tool inspired by Walt Disney’s strategy and NLP called Imagineering.
It’s important to create a positive vision for your life that doesn’t include the loss or the person who caused the grief. It involves visualizing and imagining a new reality that is healthy and happy and full of love, acceptance and gratitude for what is.
3. Commitment goes hand in hand with creating: The last step involves committing to this new vision for your life – it involves deciding to go after what you want in life no matter what stands in your way and no matter how long it takes, even if it means working towards this goal for years on end.
The moment you make this commitment, you’ll feel a sense of relief as if a burden has been lifted off your shoulders – you’ll feel lighter and more relaxed because you’ve finally decided to take control of your life again instead of letting grief control it for you.
When something that is irreplaceable to us (e.g., a loved one, marriage, career) is lost and cannot be replaced – in other words, when our identity or reputation ceases to exist – we must find a new equilibrium of living without it.
Grieving a break-up with mindfulness is not as hard as you think
Mindfulness is a great tool to help you heal your heart from a break-up because it will help you to let go of the negative feelings and thoughts that are holding you back, it will also help you to accept what’s happened and not resist change – all of which will allow your heart to move forward.
Mindfulness involves being fully present in the here and now, whatever is going on around you, whether it’s good or bad – this means that when you feel sad or angry, or even happy – instead of thinking about the past or worrying about the future, you just accept what’s going on around you at that moment.
There are many ways to do this, but one of the most effective methods is by meditating.
I have a specific type of meditation called The Meraki Way Meditation, that can help you with this, but there are other alternatives as well- for example, if your mind wanders off during meditation (which it often does), instead of getting frustrated, you just gently bring your attention back to your breath, and your meditation is complete.
Why mindfulness is a great tool?
Mindfulness is a great tool to help you heal a broken heart because it will help you to let go of all the negative feelings that are holding you back, it will also help you to accept what’s happened and not resist change, both of which will allow your heart to move forward.
Mindfulness involves being fully present in the here and now, whatever is going on inside of you – whether it’s good or bad – instead of thinking about the past or worrying about the future, you just accept what’s going on around you at that moment.
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. The fear our hearts conceal is our unlimited capacity for greatness.” ( unknown)
Where can you start?
Grief needs to be observed without judgment, without shame or guilt. It requires that we look at the memories of what has been lost, honor them and each piece of a life lived; feel and express the loss, give it time for your heart to heal.
This is about closing a circle with the energy of unconditional love. And it all starts with you!
There are many ways to do this, but one of the most effective methods is by meditating.
I have a specific type of meditation called The Meraki Way Meditation that can help with this.
Conclusion:
Healing from grief is a process, you can’t force it. There are many ways to overcome this, and the best way is with your own love map that works for you. My 3 step process (clear, conceive create) based on mindfulness and awareness will take you there one step at a time.