How to Overcome Emotional Dependency


Forgiving people who have hurt you is your gift to them. Forgetting people who have hurt you is your gift to you.

Defining the Plague of Emotional Dependency:

According to one study, about 40 million Americans mostly women are branded as co-dependent and 7 million are depressed.

Emotional dependency is defined when a man or woman allows other people such as their partners to affect their emotions, feelings and rely on them for happiness.

In such relationships, there is no prosperity because you feel frustrated and give the responsibility to your partner to become happy. You are emotionally dependent if you have the following symptoms that include:

  • If you are having obsessive thoughts about your partner and you cannot find fulfillment or joy from other people or sources except from this person.
  • When your worth is dependent on the perception of that person.
  • You cannot live if this person is far away from you.
  • Your happiness and life rely on something that is outside your control.
  • If your partner leaves you, you feel annihilated and lost.
  • Physical symptoms appear such as insomnia, stress, being very emotional and lack of focus.

This is very unhealthy and can have a negative impact on your self-confidence since it is dependent on other people. This kind of relationship is entirely different from a balanced relationship in which two individuals have interdependence and they only allow their partners to affect their emotions slightly.

Since balance means collaboration, you need to work with your partner instead of living through him. Certainly, the wounds from childhood must be addressed. How can we eradicate the symptoms mentioned above and transform the emotional dependency pattern into a collaborative and healthy dependent one?

In my 7 key steps report that you can download at the end of this article, fear is explored:

I show how to look for the root beliefs, of every problem that causes you to repeat the emotional dependency pattern over and over again.

Aside from that, I am offering different programs in order to help you obtain emotions of collaboration and independence from emotions of neediness.

In this exercise in NLP, I will show you how you can change your perception about your loved one in order to gain your power back. By doing this, you can live having an attitude of collaboration instead of control, manipulation and dependence.

Overcoming Emotional Dependency Using NLP Technique

Using this NLP technique, you will experience situation from different perceptual positions. This is to develop your perception about the situation to have loving, healthy fulfilling relationships and obtain inner freedom.

1st Position:

Feel, hear and see your situation using your own feelings and eyes.  What are your needs when behaving as you do? What are the things that you are trying to tell to the other person?

2nd Position:

Imagine what it is like to be the other person. Put yourself on his shoes as if you were feeling, hearing and seeing the perspective of that person.

By putting yourself in that position and feeling or seeing his feelings about his relationship, it will help you obtain perspective and detach yourself naturally from emotional dependency in relationships.

3rd Position:

See other people and yourself from a neutral detached position. Imagine being on this new position and pay attention to non-verbal communication and specific needs of every individual.

From this perspective, what are your conclusions about feeling and seeing the behavior of each person in the relationship?

Tip 1:

By recognizing the things that you know from this experience, you can repeat the entire round. Put yourself in three different positions, one at a time and look for fresh or new insights. Put yourself in your position, from a detached position and in the position of the other person.

Tip 2:

After completing this exercise, your main goal is to become the person that you want to be instead of becoming the person that your partner wants you to be. This will make feel “in love” instead of “in need”.  You will learn how to love your partner for who he is instead of what that person can do for you.

Make sure to join my list with tips and  free teleclasses and learn how to let go of your worst fears in your intimate relationships.



  1. Being who you are and feeling good about yourself is important. Being with other people and knowing you have unique gifts to bring so you don’t feel overshadowed or dependent on others frees you and adds so much more to relationships. This page provides real help to be able to move forward and celebrate who you are and what you bring to the world.

    • Hi Kim,
      Thank you very much for your comment.
      Itall boils down to daring to love ourself first so that the people we attractare coming to add more to our existanttotal abundance and freedom, instead of filling up our batteries because we need it.

    • hi dear Sadie- Michaela,
      yes this is a problem with a big amount of people especially women who suffer from emotional dependency an unconscious fear of being abandoned or alone.
      I have worked with several cases and very often it takes time to heal the wounds of the childhood relate to such issues.
      The relief and the healing gives unprecedented inner freedom , the person can finally make healthy choices about his or her partner.

  2. I did become a bit dependent on my ex-husband after some time and it took a couple years to get over after our divorce before I could even consider dating or meeting other guys. Since then, I’ve made it a goal to be there for myself first. I was lucky that I had support at the time, and even sought counseling.

    • Hi Nile,
      I hear you.
      So many women suffer from emotional dependency and it takes time to heal.
      We need to learn to give priority to our needs first without feeling selfish about it.
      It’s a mindset, an attitude that all parents should tech children to avoid making the wrong choices in sentimental relationships. Inner work, haling and taking action towards emotioanal freedom is a must to live in peace, real love and prosperity.

  3. You can definitely see your enthusiasm within the work you
    write. The arena hopes for more passsionate writers like
    you who aren’t afraid to mentio how they believe.
    At all times go after your heart.

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